


I'm weak my love

by Justwheezing



Category: Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
Genre: Aftermath of Torture, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Anxiety, Comfort, F/M, Protective Jaskier | Dandelion, Soft Jaskier | Dandelion, Torture, Vomiting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-09
Updated: 2020-02-09
Packaged: 2021-02-28 01:33:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,475
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22636000
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Justwheezing/pseuds/Justwheezing
Summary: “Bard” he addressed him and shoved Jaskier so he was standing in front of you. “Slap the girl.”“What!? Im not doing that you sick fuck!” Jaskier was hysterical. His head was snapping back and forth between you and the man holding him up. This couldn’t be happening.“ I said slap her. Or I’ll slit her throat.”OrJaskier and the reader gets tortured.
Relationships: Jaskier | Dandelion/Reader, Jaskier | Dandelion/You
Kudos: 78





	I'm weak my love

**Author's Note:**

> Gif credit to @nelli—crain on tumblr.

The first thing you noticed was the overwhelming smell of dampness and then an unbearable drumming in your head. The banging soon became unbearable so much so you wished you could go back to your previous unconscious state.

You could hear your name being called ahead of you, but it was still difficult for your vision to get used to the dark environment. Had you been drugged? Your eyes were difficult to open so it sure felt like it.

Were you ambushed? You couldn’t really remember, it was all a blur.

There was warm liquid running down your face. And it was difficult to tell if it was blood or tears. Considering your current position, it was probably both. An area above your left eyebrow felt intensely warm, you expected there to be a massive cut.

“Owww!” You could recognise that voice anywhere. You wonder if Jaskier felt as bad as you did.

“Jaskier” you said groggily, still slightly out of it but now more aware of the bard in front of you, who was in the same situation as you. Tied to a chair, with arms bound to his back. He was attempting to untie his hands but was clearly having no success.

You guess that’s the reason you started to lose the feelings of your hands

Where you were sitting, you could see that Jaskier had a gash on his forehead and was hunched over himself with his hair ruffled. His clothes were stained with blood, and as you looked down at yours and they mirrored his.

“You don’t look too good” Jaskier chided with a grin on his face. How glad you were that he was here with you.

“Yeah well you don’t look to good yourself, but I still see you’ve kept your smile”

“I wouldn’t be the same without it” He winked back at you.

There was a long silence as you took in the surroundings around you. You couldn’t make out anything else except for the man in front of you. It seemed you were alone but it was uncertain for how much longer.

“I’m scared Jas...what's going to happen to us?” you could start to feel the panic rising within you and you tried your best to push it down but your chest was getting tighter. It was out of your control.

Jaskier must have sensed your anxiety, his face now pinched with concern.

“It's going to be okay. We’ll get out of here soon enough, don’t you worry love.” Jaskier tried to sooth you, by sounding as confident as ever.

“Don’t lie to me, how can this possibly be okay? I can’t even remember what happened, can you?” Your chest was rising and falling as if you’ve just ran 10 miles. It was painful. A feeling that was pretty normal for you.

“Nothing. I remember nothing. I think we should definitely be worried by that but I guess by looking at the state we’re in, it’s a good thing.”

“I don’t think I want to kn-know…”

Before you could finish your sentence, you were throwing up the contents of your stomach all over yourself and the floor beside you. The acid burned your whole chest. It was like breathing fire. How embarrassing.

“Shit I'm sorry... I’m sorry” this was probably the worst moment of life. All you wanted was for the pain to end but that was all that you were feeling. You couldn’t imagine what you looked like, but you guessed it wasn’t pleasant.

“It’s okay love. This has happened more times than you think. It’ll all be over soon” Somehow Jaskier calmed you down slightly. “I really do hope so.”

“All you have to do is to take deep breaths. Just breathe through the pain.”

“You’re the expert are you?”

“Haven’t you heard, I’m cool as a cucumber in these situations. Nothing breaks me.”

Behind you, the sound of scattering feet could be heard walking towards you, until they were in view. There were three of them all together, one was stationed behind Jaskier and another behind you, while the remaining bald man stood between the two of you.

The considerably large man had scars covering his face and visible arms, emitting a threatening front, especially with the sword strapped to his waist. The beast of a man looked like he could snap you in two without much effort at all. None of them looked at all friendly. Well what did you expect?

“Get up bard!” The bald man ordered, then the man stationed behind Jaskier fiddled with his hands behind his back.

Jaskier was released from his confines and roughly pushed to his knees, his head hanging low between your legs. You winced because it clearly hurt the bard. Blood trickled out of his mouth and began to drip onto the side of your leg.

Finally free, Jaskier bounced to his feet and lunged towards the man who gave the order, in an act of retaliation. But before he could even pack a punch, the large man kicked him in the stomach sending him onto his knees again. He was sputtering out blood, clearly winded by the impact.

“Stop It!! Fucking stop!” You protested, but that only resulted in you getting gagged by a piece of fabric that tasted like shit. “That’s what you get bitch” the man cackled behind your head.

It was pointless. And there was nothing either you could do.

The man grabbed Jaskier by the scruff of the neck and brought him up so he could spit in his face. “It isn’t worth wasting your breath. If you ever think of acting out again I’ll slit this little gems neck, let her bleed out and make you drink it. Got it?”

There was nothing else Jaskier could do but nod in agreement. Scared out of his wits that would actually happen.

You’ve never been this terrified in all your life, no one was here to help you and now threats were being taken on your life. Was this hell?

Your vision was impaired by the tears forming but you could see that if Jaskier wasn't being forced and held up, then he would definitely be on the floor right now. How could they do this to him? He didn’t deserve it.

“Now, let's have a little fun shall we?” The mountainous man was grinning from ear to ear. It was sickening how much he was enjoying torturing you both. It sent a shiver down your spine.

“Bard” he addressed him and shoved him so he was standing in front of you. “Slap the girl.”

What was wrong with him? The feeling of nausea began to rise but you were scared that they would use that against you as well. You couldn’t even lift your eyes to look at him.

“What!? Im not doing that you sick fuck!” Jaskier was hysterical. His head was snapping back and forth between you and the man holding him up. This couldn’t be happening.

“ I said slap her. Or I’ll slit her throat” that’s when you felt a heavy presence behind you and a cool piece of metal resting against your throat, leaving you completely vulnerable. This was getting too real. And too fast. Could they all see your heart hammering in your chest?

“Why are you doing this?” Jaskier whispered sounding completely defeated.

“We’re waiting for your Witcher to return. If he returns successful then we’ll let you go but if he fails then...you’ll just have to wait and see.” He then leans close to Jaskiers ear. “For now though, I want you to slap her.” The crowd sneered.

Fuck Jaskier mumbled under his breath, shaking his head in utter disbelief.

“I’m giving you this warning now. If it doesn’t leave a mark, then you’ll have to do it again, so it's your call.” he threatened hot in his ear.

“I wish I could stop this. I would do anything. ” Jaskier whispered close, hoping that only you would be able to hear his confession. You knew that he didn’t want to do this. Of course you knew that. But it was difficult to express this when you couldn’t speak clearly, so you nodded and lowered your eyes to your lap, waiting.

Jaskier took a deep breath, as did you, when you could see his hand rising to the side of your face. No less than a second later, his palm clashed along your cheek and you squirmed in your seat after the contact.

He was holding back, you could feel it.

“Pathetic. Can’t you see, you're only making this worse” _Shit_. They could tell. Luck really wasn’t on your side today.

A moment later, Jaskier was hunched over after receiving yet another punch to his gut, resulting in specks of his blood spraying over onto you.

The pressure on your throat began to increase, and soon after the skin started to tear and a warm liquid trailed down your chest. Your screams were dampened by the cloth but we're loud enough for all the attention to be drawn to you.

“Look at what you’ve done.” His blue eyes met yours but all you could see was pain which was equally shared. “This time I know you won’t disappoint us, will you?” Jaskier didn’t reply but straightened up.

“Good. Go ahead.”

It was quicker the second time but it hurt. It hurt a lot and you tried to mask the pain the best you but you could sense that he knew. The slap echoed around the empty room, the sound making you cringe even after it happened. You bit down hard onto the cloth to stop you from making too much noise, but you couldn’t hold back the sobs.

While the men in the room laughed at you both, Jaskier head had dropped, the guilt of his action radiating off him. You’ve never seen him look so ashamed but you didn’t blame him.

In a sick twisted way, Jaskier was saving your life. Saving you from dying a very painful, gruesome death but you doubted if Jaskier would ever forgive himself.

“Good work lad. Did you enjoy slapping her? Making sure she knew her place?” The beast growled. “Maybe you want to do it again. Are you into that bard?”

“Fuck..you!” Jaskier assaulted to the ground for the second time, audibly wheezing. “You're going to pay for everything you've done. Even if-even if i have to do it myself, I will make sure that you regret everything…”

“Oh how brave!” He laughed. “And how are you going to do that? Bore me to death with your songs. I can’t wait to see you try and fail. And watch your life drain while I kill you.”

You couldn’t tell if you were hallucinating because you're pretty sure someone had entered the room, but you couldn’t trust your mind in this state of distress. Behind you you heard a sling of a sword. Were they really going to finish you off?

So you closed your eyes preparing for the slash but nothing came to harm you, the only thing you could feel was a heavy pressure on your shoulder. It was the head of a lifeless body, which belonged to one of the guards. Was someone here to save you?

You glanced forward but no one was there. Everything seemed to have quietened down, which was very confusing.

“We need to leave now. Geralt is dealing with them so let's move.” It took a while for Jaskier words to fully set in and in no time you were released from your confines and the gag was removed from your mouth.

Your legs were like jelly when you finally stood up, so Jaskier supported you with an arm around your waist allowing you to lean against his warm body. You were bleeding , but the pain was secondary to the adrenaline.

Both of you had made it to a safe area, if it could be considered safe but at least you were away from everything. The room was bare, consisting only of a bed in the centre and cupboard tucked into the corner.

You collapsed onto the softness while, Jaskier busied himself elsewhere.

Your whole torso was covered in your mess. The gash at this point had stopped bleeding, but you could tell that you lost a lot of blood. Your breathing was more rapid and shallow and you didn’t really notice that jaskier had returned.

Jaskier lifted you up so your back rested against the head boards, and he sat beside you, both of your thighs touching. The warmth grounded you, and you couldn’t believe the small amount of contact made you feel this safe.

A hand brushed away the hair that was glued to your face and placed it around your ear, his fingers tracing your cheek, the exact cheek he had assaulted earlier. The skin around that area was raised, most likely leaving you with an unforgiving bruise in the morning.

You noticed his hand had dropped to his lap and eyes were downcast, seeing his own doing now becoming visible, unsettled him. It wasn’t his fault

As your head dropped to the side to look at the man next to you, you saw that he had cleaned up.

The blood had disappeared and he was wearing a clean shirt. He gave you a soft smile when he noticed you staring, and a blush began to creep onto your face.

Jaskier reached over for a damp cloth you hadn’t realised he brought in and gently wiped the blood and sick from yourself. Jaskier took his time on you, making sure he didn’t miss any spots. Finally, after what felt like forever, he bandaged you up with great care.

“Thank you” you whispered. The laceration on your throat made it a little difficult to speak. “You shouldn’t be thanking me.”

You shook your head in response. It was useless to try and rid him of the guilt eating away at him, but you would sure try your best.

“I know a lot of people around you don’t care about you, but I do.”

“How can you say that, I hurt you.”

“Shut up.” You sounded annoyed but you weren’t angry at him and when Jaskier was about to turn and leave, you gripped his arm to bring him back down. “Stop blaming yourself. I don’t want to talk about what just happened, I just want you to cuddle me.”

“What? Are you sure? I-I don’t think I’m the person you want holding-”

“Cuddle me...please.” You couldn’t care less how desperate you sounded but it did its job, when Jaskier shuffled down underneath the thin sheet, waiting on his back for you to make the move for contact.

You repeated his action and got under the covers too. It was a while before you wrapped an arm around his waist and rested your head on his chest. Once you got comfortable you nestled into his shoulder, your breath feverish in his neck.

“I’ll make sure no one will hurt you anymore.” he whispered into your hair, and gave you a chaste kiss onto your forehead.

“You can’t protect me from everything but thank you.” There was no malice in your voice. It was just hard to believe after being captured and tortured, but the silent response revealed that he knew not to argue back.

Instead he quietly hummed your favourite tune, ‘her sweet kiss’, the vibrations on from chest relaxing you. It was beautiful. Jaskier must have felt the curve of your lips and you are pretty certain that it stayed on your face even after you fell asleep by his side.

1 month later

You didn’t really understand the extent of the damage until a while after it all happened. Recently, even the small things have become difficult to handle.

It should be unthinkable travelling with the great Gerald of Rivia and his bard, that you would feel so utterly on edge all the time.

It was difficult to open up at first. You guess you felt embarrassed because that’s the last thing that you should be doing while travelling with a Witcher. You hadn’t realised that your anxiety was so obvious to everyone.

You had gotten quieter, more timid, afraid your voice might shake if you spoke and you tried to place the blame on the injury to your neck which had fully healed by now.

The biggest sign was your hands had begun to involuntary shake and you were scared that people would make fun of you for it. So they barely left your pockets.

The scar was glossy and white. You had noticed when being around other people they would stare and that was the last thing you wanted. So you had to cover it up wherever you went. It was scratchy and irritable but that was the price you had to pay.

For the past few days the group of you had been travelling through town after town. Waking up in a different tavern every night meant you lost your security and watching the Witcher slaughtering groups of men throughout the day meant you lost your innocence.

Even though you got used to it after a while, it wasn’t a life that you could enjoy. But a life you could survive. And especially today, while in a crowded market you were struggling.

It was too busy. Too many people. This is the closest you’ve felt to drowning.

“Hey are you okay?” Jaskier's voice seemed troubled and full of concern. He stopped you in your tracks and you met each other's eyes in the middle of the square but you couldn’t maintain the contact.

“Yeah. I’m good.” You couldn’t stop your voice from wavering, and you hated yourself for it. He followed your eyes which were glancing down and found you digging the nails into your palms. You were not good. Far from it.

“We can leave if it’s too crowded? You can tell me y/n.”

You nodded in response, tears beginning to form in your eyes. So Jaskier grasped your hand whisked you away to a quiet area, where only a few people were around. Finally you could start to breathe again.

Jaskier wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you close to his chest. Your arms lifted to in response looping them around his neck, you cheeks now flush against each other. He’s like a comfort blanket.

“I’m sorry I’m so difficult. I always feel so scared like everything is out to get me. Or get you”. You revealed over his shoulder. Your breathing is still short and sharp but slowly returning to its normal rhythm.

“Shhh don’t be stupid.” Jaskier soothed. “You know I’d do anything to help you. And you’ll learn to conquer this feeling, it’ll just take a lot of time but I have faith in you.”

His hand on your back slowly moved in a circular motion which helped and yours doing the same to his head, running your fingers through his brown locks. This often happened between the two of you.

Contact with Jaskier always calmed you down. A hug in the comfort of your room, hand holding under the table in the tavern or even a subtle hand on your back when in public often helped ground you. And he’s always so eager to help.

You never asked but Jaskier must have sought gain from your daily and intimate interactions. It was clear that Jaskier hadn’t had the best life.

In a few conversations he touched on the loneliness he felt growing up and that he didn’t have anyone to care for him. Which you guess it’s why he doesn’t want you to go through the same thing. He has the biggest heart of anyone you’ve ever met.

He always makes sure you’re okay with things, even the little ones. And he takes no problem in doing something for you, like taking the lead of a conversation or ordering both of your drinks because he knows your limits and worries.

“Thank you. You mean so much to me and I never want to lose you and I never want to think about what I’d do without you Jaskier.” You had started crying on his shoulder and there was a sniffle behind your ear and you were pretty sure he was crying too.

The two of you stood there in the corner of the street embracing each other until you both were ready to return back to reality of the real world. It was a while until you released and once you did he wiped the tears from your face then his and took your hand, guiding you back to where you needed to be.

With Jaskier, life is made a whole lot more bearable. How lucky you were to have him.


End file.
